


Stay

by amanda_jolene



Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 20:38:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1997013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amanda_jolene/pseuds/amanda_jolene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All she had to do was say 'me'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

He’s going to leave. 

He had decided that the night before when he and Olivia broke up. She had given him a disbelieving laugh when he told her they just weren’t right together and spouted off something about maturity, but he was already walking away and couldn’t hear the half of it. It wasn’t that he was trying to be rude, he just didn’t care anymore. Lost in a tidal wave of bullshit, his friends falling apart, hating college (and near failing because he couldn’t focus on something he couldn’t stand), his dad never home, and the last straw was Rae. Rae who didn’t want him, didn’t really want to be his friend. He’d never had a girl stomp him the way she had, had never given one the chance if was honest, and he while he loved her (that had come as a gasping revelation when Olivia had tried to unbutton his pants and he found himself limp and embarrassed that the only kiss he could harden under belonged to a girl who avoided him like he had leprosy), he didn’t much like the feeling loving her brought. A sort of hollow drum feeling in the middle of him that only filled with ache and dread lately. 

He’s not sure why he’s giving her another chance to crush him (because she will). It’s something sick and twisted and it’s curling up his guts, slinking into his heart, whispering that he can’t leave with his heart. Not much left anyway. Might as well finish the job. And the thing inside of him fights a smile when she calls him mate because it crumbles him just a little and one more good blow with end it all and he’ll run away so fast that no one will even know he’s slipped out of their lives. 

“I’m thinking about moving away. Because I’ve got no other reason to stay, have I?” There’s the tang of stomach acid on his tongue and he’s waiting, not breathing, for her to deliver the knock out. A swift no or maybe she’ll drag it out. But she’s silent and it’s not what he wanted. He wanted finality. He wanted to be mad at her. He wanted to leave and hate her for the rest of his life and he can’t do anything with silence. 

“You have me, Finn.” She shrugs a little, hands twisting in her lap. 

“Do I? It doesn’t feel that way.” 

“I know,” she nods, looking away. “I don’t feel like I have me most of the time, either… but I’m going to try. I’ve been a really shit person lately. Really shit and it’s time for me to stop. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, really. I just need to… is there any way I can make you stay?”

He doesn’t know if he should take the bait. It’s not the first time he’s floundered around her (and he suspects it won’t be the last) so he takes his time in answering and she doesn’t rush him. “Could we stop lying to each other?” 

Her laugh tamps down the twisting in his stomach. “Yeah, I think that would be a good start.” 

“So… what’s going on with you?”

She shakes her head. “Let’s talk about you first, for once. Why are you miserable?” 

The words I missed you are on the tip of his tongue. It’s true, he did miss her. A lot. But the end of their relationship had only been the last straw in a bundle that sat on his chest. If they were going for honesty, he might as well start at the beginning. “My mum left when I was 8.” 

(Finn finds out Rae is the best listener in the world and Rae will discover they are more alike than she ever imagined and that high pedestal she had him on sinks down until they are on equal footing and she can kiss him senseless, the way he deserved to be kissed.)


End file.
